In Cormac McCarthy's stark, haunting and brilliant novel The Road, the Man and his Son are walking down the title road, in search of the ocean coast line. Along the way they come across an old man. The old man delivers, for my money the and most poignant and intriguing thought in the book: if you were the last person on earth, how would you know?
It is this line that will resonate every time I eat Rudolph's in Uptown. If there were better a chicken wing in the world, how would I know? For that matter, would I care to find out?
Truth be told, it wasn't the ribs that brought me to Rudolph's. It was a Groupon. A glorious little invention of marketing by which local businesses can offer their goods and services at a discounted rate, often at 50% of face value. Sometimes more.
Rudolph's is not the typical subject for one of these blogs. It is a bit pricey. The majority of the entrees being over $15. Yes, there are sandwich alternatives for less, but why bother? If you are going to be there, spend the money.
Rudolph's looks like something out of a throw back to the urban lifestyle long lost in New York city, or so I would assume as I have never been there and street crime scares me. The servers wear jackets and carry themselves with professionalism.
Nice, but I don't care. Service is the least of my concerns when I am hungry. And as this is a food blog, here is what I got.
Dixie Chicken Wings - $7.95
The Ultimate Rack- $25.95
Citizen Cornbread- $6.95
Note: most of the menu has a Hollywood theme as the restaurant was named after the immortal star of early Hollywood cinema Rudolph Valentino.
The wings. I would call this putting your best foot forward. The combination of sweet and spicy chili with a hint of garlic creates an utterly unbelievable taste. Neither being the more overpowering taste, the need for a napkin is a moot point as I relished licking my fingers clean. Yup, I'm that guy.
These wings aren't fried, they are broiled. Preserving the tenderness of the chicken and creating a crispiness to the skin that is like no other. If there were ever a chicken wing eating contest here, I would die a bloated happy man.
The Ribs. Here's the thing. Famous Dave's Barbecue is a few miles away from Rudolph's. If you don't care about the quality of the meat and prefer to be overwhelmed by the sauce. Go to Dave's. Don't get me wrong, Dave's is a great sauce, but I'm not paying for the sauce.
Opting for the Ultimate Rack, I got a half slab of spare ribs and a half slab of baby back ribs. The spare ribs are a bit more meaty and covered in a wonderful dry rub. I don't know what was in it, I never will as any true barbecue officiando will tell you that a dry rub recipe is held more dear than wedding vows.
Don't believe me? Have you seen divorce rates? How many people tell you about their rib recipe?
The baby back ribs are tender, fall-off-the-bone with a gentle layer of sauce that isn't so overwhelming that you can't tell the quality of the meat. And if you like them saucier, the servers are more than happy to bring you and extra bottle of sauce. Rudolph's. You may have seen it at the supermarket.
Personally, I'm a spare ribs guy. I love the sensation of pulling meat off the bone in a primal way that makes me reveal in my believe of evolution. The cavemen did something right. Rudolph's just improved it with a dry rub.
How can creationists justify eating meat? For s***-sake, they all think they came from a garden!
We elected a side of coleslaw (fresh and crisp, not too heavy on the dressing) and some seasoned fries that just felt right with the order. Thought I did regret it later, when I saw people eating full ears of corn on the cob. Oh well, next time.
Finally the cornbread. Yup, $7 for cornbread. PAY IT! Served in a six-inch cast iron skillet, this could be on the dessert menu. Honey glazed and served hot with a lump of butter no barbecue meal is complete without corn bread.
Chris Rock said it best, "Corn bread. Ain't nothin' wrong with that."
So, how can I justify spending that much on a meal? Simple, I shared. That entire meal was split between two people and I still had to ask for a box to bring two pieces of cornbread home. Rudolph's is a bit pricey, but you will leave full.
It is funny to say that the best part of the meal was the appetizer, but look at it like this. Rudolph's made a good thing better with quality when they created their ribs. However, the Dixie wings took the concept of wings, something that the country has gone insane for in the last few years and made it better every step of the way.
As far as I know you can't buy a better cut of chicken wings like you could beef, but that doesn't mean that they all have to taste the same.
If you have the Groupon, are willing to share, or just want some damn good wings, go to Uptown. It might be the only reason to go there in the first place. Plus it is right by Highway 94 making for a quick escape.
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