I was at Dave & Buster's last week?

It has come to my attention, that I devoted my attention to a particular Dave & Buster's location from 6pm until closing at 1am, last Friday.

This comes as news to me. Until now, I had assume the broken images were a part of an alcohol fuel dream. There was some food, a lot of drinking, the killing of Zombies and much much more drinking.

Or, as I like to call it, the stuff dreams are made of.

Piecing together information from scattered pictures on Facebook, ATM recipes and the discolored stains on my Friday outfit, I have put together the following review for Dave & Buster's.

I had hoped for something a bit more clever, perhaps somehow intertwining this particular blog with excerpts from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (as they devoted a portion of their "The Great Recession" episode to the finer points of Dave & Buster's "self-sustaining economy"). However, as I was drunk then and hung over now, I would like to get this over with and go get some Krispy Kreme donuts.

I had a Philly Cheesesteak sandwich. Not sure why. They actually have a fairly expansive menu there ranging all the way up to steak and rib combos. Perhaps I wanted something simple, perhaps I was drunk on Lion Tamers...

Lion Tamer Recipe

Add 1 scoop of ice to a shaker.

To shaker add 1 jigger of Southern Comfort.

Also add one dash of lime juice.

Shake to chill. Serve in shot glass.

Consume.

I do recall that it was a good sandwich. The white roll it was served on was moist, the meat was tender and the cheese ample and well melted. I don't do veggies on steak, so that's all. Good fries and lots of them. If you want better word stuff, go to a real goddamn restaurant review site.

From there a great deal of laughing, and a shot of Jagermeister.

More laughing a couple of tall Miller Lites, because I'm trying to watch my figure, a speech for some f***ing reason, then onto the real reason to go to D & B's (besides the half-off happy hour that was over at 7pm, damn it!): the video games.

If you are looking for the newest, coolest, most up-to-date video games, go to Japan, since this place didn't have it. However, they had Ghost Recon. A first-person shooter with a life-size submachine-gun replica will get even the fattest, most inept virgins out there to crouch in a combat stance at act as if they are really getting shot at.

Wait, those are the ones most likely to be in the combat stance in the first place.

Weird, strange flash-back of some skinny white kid going chicken noodle on the Dance Dance Revolution Machine. I don't really know what "going chicken noodle" means, it was taught to me by a giant Irishman.

Then two Red-Headed Sluts

Red-Headed Slut Recipe

1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
cranberry juice

Chill and serve.

Those were way easier going down than the two shots of Patron that followed. I don't know why people request patron. It isn't any better than Jose. It is just like the stupid f***s that demand Grey Goose vodka as if they know the goddamn difference. 

The two shots of Red Stag that followed were a little tough, but cherry flavored whiskey should never really go down smoothly.

Then there was something to do with killing Zombies. I think there was a wickedly hard Terminator game. 

Finally visions of my staring down and cursing at the images in the quick-draw game. Did I call an image in a video screen a "yellow-belly"?

Then a member of the party got cut off, and it wasn't even me! Ha! It was the girl buying everyone else shots. I suppose they didn't want more money. Go figure.

Yeah D & B, I'm familiar with Dram Shop Laws, go figure, however the extent of your liability would have been limited to the repercussions of the actions caused by the party you cut off. And should your concern fall with-in the realm of "last-link-in-the-chain", that rule no longer applies to the intoxicated individual as of 1999. And if you had bothered to ask, her boyfriend was sober, and her driver. 

Wow, it's all coming back to me. That being said, I liked the food, was surprised by the extent of the menu and had an overall good time, especially since I woke up with a Spiderman Smarties Dispenser in my pocket. I have woken up with much much worse things lying in bed next to me.